Scammer Warning and a Note on Scams

So this message has been circling around, and seemingly only to European collectors. There may have been some non-Europeans that have gotten the message, but so far this is all I've seen.

Screen shot from Etsy, via Issy BJD

This is a good opportunity to discuss warning signs of scammers, especially because some of them are far less obvious than this. I've discussed Safe Buying and Selling practices many times on this blog, so I won't go into that, but you can read the posts relevant to this topic here.

Name Dropping: The scammer tries to associate themselves with someone with high popularity, followers, or fame. This could be a company (such as claiming to be a representative or employee) or a person (claiming to be a famous collector or in collaboration with a famous collector). This is to ease you into comfort with a name fo someone you "know" or are familiar with. It gives the scammer an air of legitimacy.

Monetary Reward: Offers an unrealistic amount of money for the object they're desiring. In this case, they're asking to "rent" a bjd for $100 plus more if you send extra things. They can purchase their own BJD for around $100, to be frank, so they've no business renting yours. They may offer a deposit of a ridiculous sum of money, but be unwilling to send it "Friends and Family" or only want to send you money after you send your portion.

Method of Contact: If they've contacted you on an account not openly related to BJDs, like your personal facebook or Etsy, find out how they got the information. Never give out your real life name or address to these people. If they are claiming to be from a company or a specific person, forward their message onto that company or person and see what they have to say.

Google them. Google any names or information they've used in their message. See if anything pops up. the vlogger mentioned in this message is demonstrably mentally troubled (no offense is meant by this, and I wasn't sure of a more delicate way to address this. My mother is mentally unsound as well, so I have nothing but empathy and compassion for this person), but may not even be aware this person is using her name.

This person will prey upon the desperate and the new, and hopefully no one actually thinks this is legit. Pass this information around. Protect your community! Safe collecting everyone. 

On Popularity, Shame, Perfectionism, and Internet Cruelty

My life motto. (Brene Brown, I don't know who created the photo.)

Today ladies and gentlemen and all others we're going to talk about Shame and Perfectionism and how this relates to popularity in the doll hobby. This will probably be another one of my possibly offensive and controversial posts, so I apologize in advance if I hurt your feelings.

You're probably wondering what perfectionism is doing on a doll blog. I've written about everything from confidence to honesty and economics on this blog, so why not this? With the proliferation of BJD Confession blogs full of snarky confessions about poor face ups and styling or photography to complaints about not being popular (enough), perfectionism is very much a part of our hobby.

I am not a person who is very open about my own struggles. Most of you know my teen brother died last August, and I've been grieving since then. This is on top of an anxiety disorder and cyclical depression and yes--- my perfectionism.

Through the therapy I've been attending for a few years, I've been learning how to deal with my anxieties and with my perfectionism. I've learned that perfectionism is based on something we call Shame. At the end of this piece I'm going to link my favorite Shame and perfectionism books and researchers, and I highly recommend checking these out!

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed mental health professional. Do not take anything I say here as medical advice.

Taking things personally- the origin of our cattiness?

 

I came to a realization via a post on Facebook the other day. It was that people personalize the doll hobby, internalize it so much, that any little comment or critique about the dolls or the hobby becomes a personal attack against the hobbyist.

I first addressed it when I was writing my post on why dolls are creepy.

Rant: Why You Should Know Your Doll Companies and Why Reading is Good

There shall probably be irony in this post. I accept that. Please withold judgment until I'm through ranting, tyvm.

I'm going to be up front here and say one of the things that irritates me most in the doll community is people who don't know anything about the dolls they are buying. This will probably offend some of you, and I'll apologize up front about that, since I like you. But since this post is about reading and why reading is good, I'm just going to offer you a virtual cookie, pat your head, and tell you to keep reading. You can hit me if you want to. I'll even hold still. Feel better? Good. Moving on!

Terms list, acronyms, and some FAQs

Awhile ago, I had the idea for a big terms list which included abbreviations.  I'm posting all that I have done so far on it. Enjoy!Links are not live yet.

I thought it might be handy to gather up a list of basic ball jointed doll terminology and acronyms. It can get really overwhelming, especially when you're first starting out. I know when I first got into dolls I made a list of each term I came across with its definition. It really helped! Fortunately, you guys won't have to do that, as you can just read this post.

On Scalping

There is something in this hobby referred to as "scalping"…usually this is someone complaining that the seller is charging a higher price for an item than that someone thinks they should. 

Take this recent confession:

http://confessionsofthebjdkind.tumblr.com/post/51317121650/it-literally-disgusts-me-how-much-people-are

From Stephensmithfx.com

Firstly, anything that is rare, limited, or sold out is bound to go up in price as the demand for that item exceeds the supply. It's simple economics.

Secondly, why would someone charge lower than market value or nothing at all for such an item? Aren't they entitled to receive the value of the rarity of that item?

 

Thirdly, the market dictates what an item is worth. You can post a doll all you want but if the price isn't what the market is looking for it will sit there for months, even years, waiting to sell until you lower your price.

Fourthly, this is what scalping is defined as: "Someone who purchases large quantities of goods (usually tickets) early with the sole intention of re-selling them at a higher price at a later date (closer to the event)." [Urban Dictionary.com]

Jill, pus ramblings

I normally don't post much non-useful stuff on here, but felt like sharing a photo. I'm feeling a bit stressed/overwhelmed in real life, and the spot of drama I caused with my ranty post didn't exactly help. Painting made me feel better. And my gosh do I love this girl! Her eyes are definitely too bright for my taste though. Going to have to see about swapping them out for some softer pale blue, like the photoshopped version below. I've been exploring some new face up techniques, but I'm still planning on going on faceup hiatus at the end of the year for awhile. Hopefully I'll have better/more interesting stuff on the blog soon.

Also going to redo my face up removal experiment, just to see if my results stay the same. anywho, thanks for viewing!

Jill, legit Feeple 60 Chloe

Rant: On being a stay-at-home mom in the doll hobby and whiny teenagers

I just had a teenager say this to me:

Name and other stuff in the posted edited for privacy.

So let me see if I understand this right…being a mother who stays at home, who cooks, cleans, and cares for children (well one infant in my case) is somehow easier than being a fifteen year old who lives with her parents? I'm going to assume that this was not meant to offensive or dramatic. I'm going to assume the person was merely expressing sadness at her lack of doll situation and difficulty finding a job. That really does suck. However, it brings to mind a larger problem in the doll hobby, and that's technically what I'm ranting about at the expense of this poster.

Edited to reinforce what I've said on Facebook and in this article because some apparently didn't understand: This is NOT about the girl that posted. She inspired the post, but it is not about her. "You" is a general "you", not YOU specifically reader, and does not refer to the girl who inspired the post.(And if she's reading this, I admit I don't recall your name, and I apologize if you are hurt.)

Secondary edit: The young lady responsible has stepped up and explained herself, and just as I thought and mentioned at the start of this blog she was NOT trying to be dramatic. She was trying to be funny. As I thought. This is just to stress that the post was NOT about her. It's about teenagers in general. She's obviously much more mature than the subject of this post, as she showed by stepping up and explaining herself in public. Good for her!

Also, this is not a pity party about being a stay-at-home mom. This was written in response to things I have had said directly to me, about me, and about other stay-at-home parents who have hobbies, especially expensive ones. There is no intent to compete here, neither with other moms nor anyone else. I used my personal experience to provide evidence and basis for my opinions, so that I'm not talking out my ass.  It helps the reader know where I'm coming from. I am not mentioning hardship to garner pity or to seem as if I am feeling bad for myself. It is simply to give examples of how your life will change and encourage young people to appreciate their youth while they have it. This is not to belittle the situation of working parents (whose jobs are even harder than mine, since they work both outside the home and in it) or of younger people, many of whom work hard and are responsible. You simply cannot compare being a child with being an adult. Both have their own struggles.

I hope that summarizes everything and accurately responds to some of the posts we've had. I understand that this is a bit of a drama-inducer, something I generally try to avoid and rarely instigate, but I may often misinterpret others' responses incorrectly and respond defensively. 

On the Importance of Confidence

A quick post inspired by some discussions on Recast BJD Haven....

Just like in the animal kingdom, predators tend to prey on the weak. They see an easy target, and they go after that target. They tend to avoid the stronger, more confident people because they don't really want a challenge. As an ex-bully, I can attest to that. It is much easier to pick on someone you perceive as less intelligent, less pretty, less strong than you. A person with little confidence is not likely to stand up for themselves, and if they try will back down pretty quickly; you come away the "victor".

Yes, yes they are.

Commitment in the doll world- a major issue?

Let me preface with this: I am in no way ungrateful to pretty much everyone I have dealt with in regards to my face up shop. You guys have given me a wonderful opportunity to paint dolls, see sculpts I've never gotten to hold before, and to expand my portfolio and build my reputation as reliable and trustworthy. Thank you also to everyone who has ever bought or sold from me. This post is not about you- you know who you are. It's not really about anyone in particular.

The problem:

Flakiness. People in the doll world seem to have problems with commitment.

Thoughst on two recent bjd confessions...plus, NO MORE HATE

There is a confession about pro-recast hypocrisy here .This confession is worth discussing.

Firstly, as Resinmuse noted, simply wishing for the existence of a certain recast is NOT the same as buying it for the intention of recast. No one in the thread discussed buying the doll to send it to be recast.

Secondly, as Resinmuse also noted, not all people who buy recasts have the same code of ethics. People have different morals and ethics no matter what groups they are a part of. Just because you disagree with those ethics doesn't necessarily make them wrong.

Things will always be at risk for bootlegging, theft, piracy, and copying when they are subject to limited availability and high prices. It's just the way things are. We are allowed to voice sadness at this and get excited about the possibility of attaining things, even if there is no way we could or even would (I think the Kinoko Juice doll is just darling, but I would not personally purchase a recast of one).

Then there is this confession.

To compare recast buying with such hot button issues shows a lack of common sense and is nothing but extremism, no matter what side of the debate you are on. Do not bully people for their views and beliefs or else you become exactly the things you hate. (I believe Nietzsche said something to that effect….and I apparently can't spell his name sooo...)

There are pro-recast people who are pro-life, just like there are anti-recast people that are racists. Having one belief does not preclude another. This is like the antiquated atheist vs Christian debate, as in just because you don't believe in a god all the sudden you're a child-sacrificing cannibal who kicks puppies and wants to murder everyone. Or alternatively… being a Christian automatically makes you an uneducated moron who wants to return to the Dark Ages and burn people at the stake. Or you're all Westborough Baptist Church. Seriously? Assuming does make an ass out of U and ME, so let's avoid it, okay?

I'm a pagan, I'm privately pro-life, politically pro-choice. I don't steal (even though some of you might disagree), but I have done so to survive. I don't lie. I don't cheat; I cheated once in 3rd grade, got caught, and had to go to confession so I never did it again. I did, and still do, stack the Candyland deck to make sure I make it to the Lollipop Princess first just because I think she's cute. I also happen to be very anal about Scrabble rules. I'm not racist. I have no opinion on the sex trade (when it is choice not forced). I've never attempted to summon the devil by sacrificing a black cat (though I had a black cat who recently died due to coyote attack), though I do tell fortunes via tarot cards and use Ouija boards. I try to be the best person I can be, though I know I have flaws. I've had a parking ticket, but I never speed. I also purchased bootleg dolls once upon a time. Yeah. I'm a real monster.While I no longer own the bootlegs and have since ceased buying them, the point of this remains the same:

Everyone has a story, a reason for their morals, a reason they are who they are. The fact that they are pro-recast or anti-recast doesn't mean a fucking thing. Both sides need to grow up and remember this.

Please, let's just stop the hate. 

I apologize for the rant.

Thanks for reading, and happy collecting!

Recast vs Legit: Alter-Egos

[A fluff piece because I've had a pretty crappy week and don't really want to think but still want to gripe about stuff.]

I'm no honey badger. I keep my recast and legit alter-egos completely separate, well, as separate as I can.

For those of you who aren't the type to post carefree across the interwebs your recast and legit resin munckins, this is for you:

1. Don't post links on DoA to flikrs or sites that contain/promote recasts. If you get caught with a flikr link (including pictures that link) with a recast on that account, you'll get banned from DoA.

            a. Recasts are like Fight Club.

            b. You don't talk about Fight Club (on DoA)

Cyberbullying in the Doll Community: A Wordy Discussion

Bullying has become quite a problem lately, or at least become more of a recognized one, particularly here in the United States. Many children have been committing suicide or attempting to do so because of bullying. I am going to ask that you humor me and read this entire post. It's very wordy, and I apologize. Please, please bear with me until the end. I promise it's worth it. There's also some swearing, and I apologize for that too.

The doll hobby has become rife with cyberbullying that transcends age demographics. Due to the anonymity of the internet, adults can bully adults or even children. The reverse is also true. Without the face to face filter that encourages polite social interaction, people feel free to say and do as they please.