Taking things personally- the origin of our cattiness?

 

I came to a realization via a post on Facebook the other day. It was that people personalize the doll hobby, internalize it so much, that any little comment or critique about the dolls or the hobby becomes a personal attack against the hobbyist.

I first addressed it when I was writing my post on why dolls are creepy.



Here's what I think:

source unknown

• People often consider the dolls their characters/friends/family/passion/artform/life/ETC.
• Characters/art/children/friends/etc are an extension of you, their creator/friend/parent/whatever.
• Thus, the dolls are an extension of you.
• Thus, any attack on the doll is therefore an attack on you. 

So a simple comment about why Resinsouls suck at posing (did you cringe?) becomes: All Resinsouls are horrible, cheap dolls, so therefore all RS owners are horrible, cheap people…

See what I mean?

A simple comment like, "Hey, I love Volks. I only buy Volks because they are perfect!" becomes, "HAHAHHA I'm rich, you're poor. I like Volks because they're better than everyone and everything else so therefore I'm better than you!"

I have never actually seen any RS/BBB hate. I've seen comments about the ammature quality of the sculpting (still 1000x times better than I can do, proof here), the lack of posing. That isn't hate. I have never actually seen any outright Volks hate. Saying all Volks look the same or are ugly isn't hate. It's opinion, and it might a damn rude thing to say in the wrong context, but it still isn't a personal attack on Volks owners.

Um...It's so....cute.
Picture via wazaw.com

If someone were to call your cat ugly (unless it is an ugly cat and you love him nonetheless for it) to hurt your feelings, you'd probably tell them off. You love your cat. He's your baby. He's your ugly, stinky little baby. *cuddles imaginary kitty* I love you, Ugly Cat. He's your family.

If someone were to call your OC drawing ugly, or unskilled, they may be telling the truth. They have no tact, and they need to learn how to say things nicely. They've hurt your feelings. You're right to be upset.

But you have to learn to let it go. Let it roll off your shoulders.

The off-handed comments people make about your toys, your clothes, your hobbies, your job, your house, your ugly ass cat---- are not about you. It may seem like it, especially when it's something precious to you.

It hurts. It stings. You want to punch them.

Me, I say go for it. Punch 'em. Okay not really. I don't advocate for violence unless someone is in danger. But DO let them know they've crossed a line. If they continue, BLOCK THEM.

Unless one secretly wants them.

You don't need the negativity in your life (unless you're essentially a psychic vampire who gets off on the drama, either causing it or being a victim of it, in which case get your jollies and realize you're an asshole).

Your dolls are just dolls to others, even others in this hobby. They are going to go for personal attacks because everyone takes things personally in this hobby- the fact you love that BBB Mei is automatically an insult to the Volks Elena owner.

Reeeeally big panties.
Pic from presentimperfection.com

Once we all pull up our big girl/boy panties (yes, panties for the boys too), we will realize that it isn't about us personally. That we can enjoy our hobby without belittling others.

But then I think world peace is possible too.

P.S. I think 99% of confessions are trolls trying to stir shit up. They must get as big a kick out of the shitstorm as I do....